Who AM I ?

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I have yet to get past Chapter 1 in my reading of this most profound book. This will be my Second Post and the beginning of my Quest but the depth of my comprehension is 99% un-describable with words or metaphors. (0 .2% ) of that 1% lies with in this post and( 0.8%) of that 1% I leave in my journal. As it would not be understood in its present state…. other than possibly within conversation…

As and If I am able to give it description… it will be put to written comprehendible concepts and I will present it here too . But for now…

My prayer is that those who are seeking find a spark in these posts that helps them go deeper… think outside the boundaries…, on their own journey of Enlightenment.

As a person who has always sought the LORD (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) for as long as I can remember, there have been many many things that have puzzled me throughout my walk with Him.

Things I knew to be True but was completely unsure of WHY/ or HOW ?

I have always known in my Spirit that if it is here, on earth….  it is here because the Creator put it here for us to enjoy, use, experience etc.

I’m talking about a wide variety of topics never approached and always shunned or disregarded within the borders of Christianity and its man developed doctrines.

Yet even with out their approval My Spirit remained calm in a “knowing” that it was all a part of a much bigger picture than, I was able to see or, understand at the time.

I have no desire to debate or argue or convince anyone of anything I believe. Just a driving curiosity as to how it all fit together.

Never (to my knowledge) would I adopt a concept that goes against “The WORD or the WILL of GOD”. It has always been my upfront boundary that is immovable.

But very few if any saw, thought or felt as I did about the concept of “Truths” outside the box of taught doctrines.

I was told, I was dangerously melding my Christianity with New Age concepts or Mystic concepts or of People whose words and wisdoms did not believe in “JESUS as Saviour” therefore the wisdoms and knowledge of,… were not of GOD and I would be lost.

My Spirit felt only sadness at the untruths and ignorance of the mentors trying to convince me. For they too were led astray by their education, designed by the human mind. And the heart breaking destruction of souls being detoured from “The Door” with the untruths and ignorance of twisted concepts and partial truths presented as “GODS meaning” in His WORD.

Not that it will change their Salvation, but  the life they live and experience while down here is so much less than it could be.

Few question the teacher… Why is that?… Even fewer seek and research for themselves.

Is it fear of being lead astray?

Is it laziness?

To time consuming?…

I’m not sure and it’s really not mine to discern.

TRUTH will only be found in seeking HIM with HIS illumination of HIS WORD . Not in the vain human dissection of HIS WORD and the human mind trying to comprehend HIS meanings.

I feel for those who look but do not see and listen but do not hear, but I also understand.

I was somewhat the same till my mid twenties. The preaching that was popular instructed that anything not in the Bible was not of God. Also taught with a vengeance was, every verse that points out, how easy it is to be mislead by the world and thereby putting your assurance of eternity at risk.

My Quest for deeper connection and truth continues today almost 40 years later.

I do not believe we have enough time now here to EVER absorb it all but there is far more than any can comprehend and there is complete FREEDOM to be found within the Seeking.

The last few months have been the first months in my lifetime that I have experienced solitude. I raised 7 children as a single parent and then took care of my aging parents for 5 years after, which all changed in May, 2015. I am about to turn sixty and for the first time in my life, my time is mine. My quest started almost immediately my parents moving into a Lodge.  And has been an all consuming fire than burns within 24/7 since day 1.

Don’t get me wrong, I go to work ,as well as, babysit within my 17 grandchildren, attend family events and get togethers but I am experiencing solo time without interuption. A brand new experience I am very grateful for.

I know in the very near future I will have the freedom to contemplate and write at anytime day or night, as I am enlightened, but for now I am grateful for the newly found moments I have. I am not  the person I was 3 months ago, nor will I ever be again.

CMJordan, Aug/2015

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